


So You've Found Out About The Hearts Thing: A Guide to Gallifreyan Biology

by The_narwhals_awaken



Series: A Gallifreyan How-To [4]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Time Lords (Doctor Who), Biology, Gen, Looms (Doctor Who), Medical, Regeneration (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26638087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_narwhals_awaken/pseuds/The_narwhals_awaken
Summary: A closer look at what makes a Time Lord, a Time Lord.  Includes Looms, the Untempered Schism, and regeneration
Series: A Gallifreyan How-To [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908952
Comments: 16
Kudos: 9





	1. Intro and Summary

Hello, and welcome to your guide to Gallifreyan biology. This guide was collected over years of dealing with the idiots that end up injured and not talking about their medical needs until they end up nearly poisoned by your meds. 

Other data was also collected by interviews, some legally-dubious hacking, and a flagrant misuse of pain medication to loosen tongues. 

Regardless of how we found out, we’re here to talk about biology and why they’re like that. In this guide, we’ll start with the basics- the differences in biology, especially organ structure; any tolerance/intolerance differences; and a how-to for getting them to accept medical care. After that, we’ll move into a look into how and why they got this way- what makes a Time Lord different from a Gallifreyan, and how it happened; the Schism and its effects on the mind; Looms and what exactly they do, as well as their effects on the population; and how regeneration affects biology, as well as as much why as we could figure was relevant. More information will be included in a later volume that deals with Founders-Era Gallifreyan history, and thus has the context to deal with the minefield from that. 

If at the end of this guide, you still have questions, please do not call or contact us. We’re taking a decent legal risk just publishing this, and do not wish for the CIA to find out about it- as existence is quite enjoyable. Also, to whoever let the editor gremlin know about this, we salute you and ask that you cease- we’d just managed to clean the glitter from last time, and now the PA system is blaring odd parodies of songs we don’t know, based off of historical events we do not have records about. Please stop, the plants are getting tired and nobody can sleep.

If you have more information, please contact us. There are a few proxy companies and corporations, or you can pass the info on in person. Good luck!


	2. Differences in Biology: You Know They're Aliens, Right?

The big difference, the easy difference, the one that probably led you to picking up this guide, is that all Gallifreyans have two hearts. A few Oldbloods are loomed with one heart (we’ll get to the looming bit later) but most of them get two. 

What you may not have known is that they have double the amount of most organs. Organs that come in pairs end up quadrupled. There are a few extra ribs on each side- three to four, our sources differed. There are air sacs under the lungs.

In order to fit these extra organs, some changes had to be made. Body fat is minimal, only stored in thin linings between organs for their protection. Muscles are more dense, able to pack more power into less space. Bones are stronger, as are ligaments and tendons. Sprains are therefore unlikely, and bones are unlikely to break. The downside of this strength is, of course, that with their greater healing factor, first aid must be immediate or an injured limb is likely to turn into a permanent mutilation. 

Many systems are formed binarily, separate but in conjunction. This allows for one system to stop working, while allowing the other to keep the Gallifreyan alive until first aid can be done- however, this hurts hugely and the Gallifreyan will need assistance getting to first aid. 

In addition, the nerves group differently. While their increased speed and strength allow for greater reflexes and finer dexterity, there are also structural weak points. These include a cluster at the base of the spine that helps with reflexes and involuntary functions, even with the head removed; and a cluster in the left shoulder that is merely a vulnerability. It is the equivalent to the funny bone, motor neurons not meant to process pressure data, except much better at carrying pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> I'm back again! And doing much better, thanks for asking. The smoke cleared up a few days after I stopped posting, school's a mess but going well, and I managed to finish a project!  
> Comments spark my motivation!


	3. Tolerances and Intolerances: How to Get Them Drunk, Dead, or Out

In addition to the differences in physical biology, there are also differences in homeostasis and reactions to chemicals. Here’s the ones you’ll need to know and the ones we’ve confirmed.

Your Gallifreyan will feel only slightly cooler than the average human, however, their internal temperature will be around 60℉/15-16℃. This will really only be important while taking temperature, however, it does mean that they last better both in hotter temperatures and in colder ones- most notably, they do not seem to suffer from either dehydration or hypothermia unless it’s far beyond lethal for most other species- such as a week without water or being sunk in a snowbank during a blizzard.

Alcohol must be imbibed in great quantities to have an effect, however, ginger disables the efficient toxin filtration system. Pure ginger or ginger beer has a light alcoholic effect, while mixing ginger or ginger beer into alcohol allows the alcohol to have effect.

Your Gallifreyan will have different bacteria on them, to the point of being hostile to humans. If they are providing medical care, make sure they use gloves or disinfect heavily. Removal of that bacteria, such as in common sanitization procedures used in medical or scientific offices, will cause pain, and if uncorrected, death.

Most human drugs will not have effects, although medications will work- although the dosage will be off. Aspirin is toxic to them, but can be countered with chocolate- the darker the better. Cannabinoids also take longer to work out of the system- good for pain meds, bad if you forgot to hide the pot brownies. 

If they end up intoxicated, get them someplace where they won’t fall and hurt themselves, and leave water and headache medication where they’ll find it. You’re not going to understand their rants, very few people do, but encouragement is good for their mental health.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, thanks for your concern! Things are going well, although it's unlikely that we'll be making it back to in-person schooling this semester. I appreciate all your comments, and hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Comments help me write, and kudos help me feel like it's worthwhile!


	4. How to Get Your Idiot Time Lord to Accept Medical Care

This is a somewhat difficult process. The sane ones are workaholics or self-sacrificing, so the simplest way is to carry them to medical. Be prepared for token complaints, claims that they’re okay, and unexpected weight- they’re heavier than they look.

The less sane ones are harder. If you’re already being checked over, try and talk them into checking themselves- either guilt or affection are going to be your best bets. 

If they’re injured, either mildly aggravate the injury so they’ll treat it or repeatedly bother them about it. If needed, you may have to trick them into proving it, but that shouldn’t be too hard.

If they’re ill, that’s much more difficult. The sane ones will just keep working. If you can get them to lighten up, file paperwork wrapped in a blanket cocoon with soup and hot tea, they should be fine. Be prepared for complaints, but once they’re comfortable, the complaints should be limited to sore throat and exhaustion.

The less sane ones, once again, are harder. The first step here is getting them to tell you that they are ill. You might notice, but at worst, it’s because they passed out after standing up too quickly. At best, they told you. If that, then congratulations! You may get one with good sense! The rest of us are jealous.

Similarly to feeding them, provide comfort in the form of hot tea and soup. If you can get them to relax, please do so. Once they’re down, they’ll probably just try to sleep it off- and for the most part, this will work. If they go into a healing coma, keep an eye on vitals and start meds and nutrients after three days. If they don’t, then try to wake them up every eight to ten hours to get them fed- a hungry, sick Time Lord is like a cranky toddler. 

If they require specialized medical attention, either trust the TARDIS or get them to a hospital. The latter may require arguments or trickery, but once inside, they’ll usually subside. There is a reason that medical professionals on Gallifrey are some of the stubbornest people you’ll ever meet, and it isn’t the fact that they’ve had to memorize thousands of years of research. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra chapter because a new work is being written and to celebrate getting all my stuff done! Four AP classes online is a bit of a workload, plus a huge Fourth Doctor scarf, a brioche hat, and music/language classes. But everything's getting done, and I'm keeping up the posting! 
> 
> Comments feed the plot monsters!


	5. The Untempered Schism: Seriously, Who Thought Letting Eight-Year Olds Stare Into A Crack In Reality Was A Good Idea?

The Untempered Schism is a semi-stable crack in the fabric of space-time, controlled and held open by the Time Lords and used as initiation into the Academy. At the age of eight, prospective Time Lords look into the Schism, and then at least one of three things happens. One and two, they are inspired or go mad. The general rule is that madness is a) illegal and b) preventing you from fully functioning for one reason or another. The third option is running, although it does not exclude the other responses. Some run before they are inspired/driven mad, some are sucked in, and some run after. If the prospect dies or is driven irrevocably mad, they are not accepted into the Academy. 

This stare not only allows for enlightenment, but has a greater effect. Staring directly into the Vortex exposes the prospect to high doses of various forms of temporal energy, reinforcing the body to be capable of handling regeneration. The energy also enhances time senses, allowing the prospect to feel the Web in all its glory. 

Frequently, the prospects have a week to get their senses under control and learn to manage their madness. Most begin journaling- not only to record their ideas, but also to allow the others to see into their heads. Also, if they ever become famous, the journals will be a good record. 

However, there frequently arise psychological problems, untreated due to the criminally neglected psychology department and the critically overworked Time Lords. The population has been swinging towards the older end of the spectrum,and while new ones are still there, they are staying low instead of rising. Regardless, many people end up with problems from repression or poor management of hyperfixations. This is incredibly frequent in all the Chapters, although the Upper Chapters tend to have less of a support network, so they end up suffering the effects worse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments!  
> I'm doing well, although allergies aren't fun- I went off some allergy medication because I thought it was a spring and summer allergy, and then I've been having nosebleeds all week, so back to the meds I guess.  
> Keep commenting and telling me what you like so I can write more!


	6. Looms: Why They Exist And The Resulting Problems

So the first question you probably have is what are the Looms? The Looms are a genetic probability engine that combines genetic material from donors with the base genetic material from past donors and a few corpses to create the structure for a child, then grow said child into approximately two to four physical years of age. Included in the child’s mind is the basic ability to speak, walk, basic bonding/manners, etc.

This is used to create all Time Lord children. Most Time Lords are either sterile, uninterested in sexual reproduction, or both. It’s considered messy and undignified, as well as having a much higher chance of defects. In the Looms, a child is generally monitored for health, and if their quality of life would not be high if born, the child would be terminated and they would try again. 

Not every donation results in a child. Whether it’s incompatibility, time, or just happenstance, children don’t always get Loomed as they should. Sometimes, it just takes years for the material to be happy enough to form a child, while sometimes it just isn’t meant to be. 

However, the flipside also happens. Sometimes, with all the ancient genetic material, there’s enough of it floating around that a child is formed from donors who are dead. These children are known as ‘Bastards of the Looms’ and are generally adopted into one of the Houses that isn’t having children right now. 

There are issues with the ethics of designing children like this, of course. It’s not an exact science, no matter how much they’d like it to be so. There’s simply so much that is still unknown about how and why the Schism does what it does that people are still stuck on simply breeding people with good results and hoping for the best.

Natural-born Gallifreyans think that the Time Lords are crazy for using the Looms, but generally know that it’s not their business and let them be. Occasionally, as part of a power play, a normal Gallifreyan may also be loomed, but they generally don’t care about that, and don’t go to the Academy. 

Either way, the imperfections of the Looms and the existence of ‘Loom Bastards’ means that there are some politicians and scientists are trying to figure out a safer way to reproduce- whether to treat the high levels of sterility, enhance the Looms, or any other solution. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, an extra chapter because it's all written and I needed the positive boost.   
> No word on the nosebleeds yet, but I'll let you know if it gets better or worse as needed.  
> For those of you who check the series heading, you'll know that I've got another work to follow this one about Founders-Era Gallifreyan history.   
> Thanks for all your kind words and comments!  
> Please continue, comments stave off bone decay!


	7. Regeneration: Wildly Unprepared for Death

So, you’ve probably heard about the basics of regeneration. How it occurs either at will or when a Time Lord would otherwise die, and burns them. Every cell in their body burns and is remade, with the physical form another possibility from their genetics, and the personality bringing forwards different parts of what they were. 

Legends say that Rassilon was responsible for bringing regeneration to the Time Lords. Legends also state that it was the Other, and some even state that it was somebody else entirely, and nobody’s sure. What most scholars will whisper at 2AM while heavily drunk and alone is that it’s highly unlikely that Rassilon did it- he was a stellar engineer, not any form of biologist. Nobody who knows is willing to talk, and that’s one of the few things that left our mysterious editor leaving us notes to stay out of it. 

However, what many people forget is that regeneration, wherever it came from and whatever your opinion, started out as a survival skill. Each progressive body is hardened against what killed the previous one. First, they tend to adapt to their situation, so as to enjoy survival for longer. Regenerating in a wet environment may bring forth increased lung capacity, a body built for swimming, and even possibly gills. 

There are lesser psychological cues, as well. One who died in part due to overconfidence may be more bland and patient, while one who died for somebody else through self-sacrifice may be more prickly and pushy, trying to prevent the situation from happening again. 

However, it can go wrong. There’s a fifteen-hour ‘grace period’ that will heal any injuries on either side of the Regeneration, and also includes enhanced strength and a bit of mania. Memory issues are frequent, and the Time Lord is off-balance and in need of a good cup of tea and a sit-down. 

Regeneration and its accompanying psychological shake-ups are good for Time Lords, keeping them fresh, helping organize memories, keeping them from getting in a rut, and limiting the Blinovitch Limitation Effect- two of the same object at different points in their timestream, when coming in contact, have options. If they’re alive and separated by more than seven years, there’s a pulse of energy released. If they’re not alive or alive and not separated by more than seven years, then either the universe will be destroyed or it’ll rain a lot. No experiments have been run on this effect. 

Regeneration is meant to make a Time Lord functional, by any means necessary. Memories that may lead to self-destruction are locked away in the same place memories crossing the time stream are, to be unlocked when they are ready to deal with them or are faced with the event again. However, it may make them a different person. Try to offer psychological support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we come to the end of another amazing work! Thanks once more for all your lovely comments and care!  
> Tomorrow, we're starting another fun tale, full of death, destruction, and politics! Not the Silmarillion, but Founders-Era Gallifreyan History!!!  
> Yeah, it's going to be a wild ride. Hope y'all's enjoy!
> 
> Comments still feed the hungry story beast.


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